Ten years ago today, a wide-eyed, shy, but determined small town girl moved to this crazy town hoping her story would play out like Sugarland’s “Baby Girl,” (which was super popular during that time). That girl was me. I knew I had some good songs and an insane work ethic. That should be enough for that big break, right? What I didn’t realize was that songwriting was just a small reason I moved here….it was only scratching the surface. God had and still has many other plans for me and for all the other amazing people in town. He just seems to know that a love for music will be what initially convinces many of us to move here, but there’s a higher purpose for it all.......long before any of us have even the faintest idea of what that is. Then, he helps us to find one another in the right places at just the right times. I don’t think any of come here prepared for the reroutes, the kicks in the teeth or the extreme seasoning process. Who really ever says, “I wanna move to Nashville and get the crap beat out of me?”
"Not I," said this optimistic 20-year-old.......
"What the heck has happened to me?" said the same 28-year-old, who was already 8 years into a 2 year plan.
I think a guy I once dated who knew me better than most, said it best, “A small town girl moves to Nashville….has a few struggles and simply becomes a hit songwriter. How boring is that? I promise you when you get older it’s the “lost years” of your life that are going to make the best stories.”
Though I didn’t want to hear it at the time, I knew he was right. I didn’t plan on all the crazy unforeseen trials….I didn’t plan on getting a social work degree…..doing door to door sales in the middle of an extreme cold winter…..working 3 or 4 jobs at a time and still wondering how those bills were going to get paid. I didn’t plan on moving multiple times and having not ONE but TWO instances when I didn’t really even have a home of my own to go to. I never even planned on doing Journalism or PR work…..and I definitely never planned on writing a humorous dating book, because that area of my life was supposed to be figured out by the time I was 24 or so. I never thought it was possible to go from cleaning the bathroom at your day job and then having to change into your fancy attire in that same bathroom, because you have a way in to that red carpet event with all the high profile folk that night. How does that make sense? It doesn’t…..but that’s Nashville for you. I never planned on car problems or things breaking, landing in danger, loss and heartbreak or experiencing the extreme unknown. I especially never thought money would be hard….because when you work as hard and as much as me….it should come easy, right? Wrong.
Like most Nashville hopefuls, I never planned on “work” or school interfering with my dreams. I came here with a focus…..a focus that has been interrupted and tested for ten years straight. As I drive through middle TN, I have memories everywhere – from jobs, to internships, to date spots, to random stops, to old hangouts, to doors I had to knock on, to old residences, to just general memories. Some places have gone out of business, others have changed their look…..and others look the same ole’ same. My sister just moved here a few months ago, and she knows every place we pass includes a story. I’m a constant tour guide without meaning to be. I think she likes it though.....she says my life is more entertaining than TV. Speaking of which, I never planned on doing reality TV.....but that was yet another thing I did this past year - not once, but twice!
Nothing has gone as planned – some things have went much worse than planned, but there are other things that have went much better than planned. It was here where I realized just how hopeless and helpless I really am without God.....and here where I was first was able to TRULY allow myself experience his love. Overall, God has brought me more blessings and opportunities than I ever imagined. Some days I'm numb and some days I just pinch myself. I think of all the things that wouldn't have happened had I not chosen this path. Sure, I would have avoided a lot of pain and suffering.....but I would have missed out on a whole lot of gain and dreams coming true. Though I still have the same heart……I’m so much stronger and so much wiser than the 20-year-old who set out with a dream.....though I'm still learning every day. I fear less, laugh more, and I look for the beauty in everything. I've realized no one owes us anything in life.....and we can't resent the cards we're dealt, but rather, we've got to play them to the best of our ability. I have learned that victory is so much sweeter when you have known loss, lack and struggle. Quite honestly, I'm now really glad I didn't get the simple hands of cards where everything was just handed to me and everything quickly fell into place. I appreciate everything more, and I know every good thing I have is by the grace of God. My Nashville journey isn’t just a status, a blog or even a book…..it’s a whole series of lessons learned the hard way, but most importantly, it’s a series of what FAITH can do. I’ve spent 1/3 of my life here and it’s where I found myself and the best friends a girl could ever ask for. It's where I fit.....and it's where I feel understood. It's the place where things don't make any sense.....yet make complete and total sense all at once.
As I look through the chapters of my life here, I see how things connect, and how one little event can change everything. I’m so excited to see what the next chapter holds. Thanks so much to all of my fellow Nashvillians….and to all my loved ones back home….and around the U.S. I love y’all (not, “you guys”).
P.S. Happy ten year Nashversary to meeeeeee ;)